Cat food deluxe

So then....

After Vienna, my #1 on my myspace, Pirate Soundsystem threw a jolly at The Spread Eagle in Shoreditch. Went down with my surrogate kids, Dan and Harry and had a proper knees up and danced more than I have for years
.I dressed up in a piratey/drag stylee because
1) I like dressing up
2) I like like pirate things and
3) I love the Pirate Soundsystem boys. They play stuff that reminds me of the good old days and have a fun, ravey, unpretentious, poptastic sensibility that I love. I look forward to more. Photos by TBC


The following day Paul helped me move to my new digs in Dalston which while not the glammest place in the land, is home for now. The two girls I’m living with are a bit barmy frankly and don‘t speak to each other.
On the first day, I had a nose in the fridge to find cat food wrapped in tin foil. We have no cat. I shall be declining any offer of meat pie.

I’ve been offline (which is killing me to be honest) for a while as have spent ages trying to sort out internet access with one of the girls who has crap communication skills.
After days before she’d actually speak to me about it, (screaming “I’m busy” through her door whilst watching Judge Judy ay every attempt) we’d agreed that I’d get a router and I could scab off hers. The following day I get a snidey note saying ‘I hope you realise the risks’ and condescending bollocks. Have told her I’ll get my own. I don’t like the idea of my access being cut off by a mad woman when she fancies it. So it’s more internet café action for me until it’s all sorted. Bah.

So since moving in, had a nice chilled out evening of darts and curry with Paul the following week and did my MC spot on Resonance FM (which I‘ll put up online once a good quality version is available). Despite a few technical errors while I was on and not being able to really hear myself properly, I had big fun and read out a few slave mails and sung/spoke a bit of Dion, Moloko, Mel & Kim, Tiga, Awesome 3, Peggy Lee, Prodigy and ‘Wooooaaah body form, body form for yoooou’.

Following week went to Trash at The End with Dave and Ian. However, getting in was a bit of an effort;

Bloke on door: Do you know what kind of night this is?
Us: Err yes. It’s Trash
Door whore: Well what kind of music do you like?
Us: Electro, Rock, Erol, Allsorts
Pillock: Well you know that Erol plays rock on Monday don’t you?
Us: Er yes
Twattcock: (After looking us up and down again disapprovingly) Mmm alright then

Now I know the kids in there like to be styled within an inch of their lives but that is just silly from a man who himself is dressed like a chav and hardly the height of wanky Russel Brand rock chic. How can you judge someones music tastes by the clothes they wear anyway? When I'm sans drag, I like to dress to get down and have fun. Such a shame that clubbing culture these days is more about how you look than the music and experience.

Though I had fun, I don’t think I’ll hurry back, mainly due to the snooty attitude of the door and the kids themselves.

That Wednesday was another turn at Trannyshack. I did an old number (Ken Doh - Nagasaki vs. Gloria Gaynor - I am what I am & Madonna - Music) which I regretted just before I went on. I dragged a guy on stage and stood on his bollocks and the crowd seemed to like it. About time I did a major overhaul and got some new tracks sorted. Even though it was a bootleg and something that a lot of people haven’t heard live, doing old handbag drag standards is something I want to get away from.

I really like all the stalwarts of the drag scene that I’ve met so far. All are absolutely lovely and not a wanker among them (though what they do out of drag is their own business). Time will tell but they are all quite fabulous.

Great to hang out with Glendorra after who really should do a comedy/music show. One of the most naturally funny people I’ve met and I hate to see talent wasted.

Dusty O who is as flawless as hilarious and lovely as is the gorgeous Lady Lloyd. Sad to hear about Tasty Tim (who’s style I have always adored from afar) is out of action and in plaster for a bit.
Ryan Styles (did INXS‘ Suicide Blonde with confetti bombs strapped around the waist. Controversial but unique and quite fabulous I thought), Suppositori Spelling (who came over with the San Fran Trannyshack crowd and stayed), Sarah Lee, Ritzy Crackers and and and. All lovely. (I had given links to all their myspace pages but this computer is having non of it. Will edit it later.)

I’ve had bitchy run ins with drag queens in the past and that’s usually because they have no talent or excellence that they have to make up for their shortcomings by being a cunt. It’s a cliché and there’s no need for it. I have been known to kick someone who tried to look up my dress whilst onstage and shoot someone down but only when they have attacked me first.


Saturday was a jolly down to Bournemouth for Lionel Vinyl/Fake ID s new night as part of The Geek Chic Soundsystem called System Addict (named after the shoulder padded spanggly ones, Five Star) at The Consortium. Quiet at the beginning but the dance floor was jumping for most of the night. Good fun.
(L-R Lionel, Dale Winton, Halfway to Holestar, Ian & Charlotte)

Went to some club playing duff music after and had some laughing gas before stumbling back to Charlottes place, drinking beer on her balcony and waking up her flat mate.

Wednesday I went to Bardin’s Boudoir for Delete Yourself.
Performing were a group of unidentifiable shouty kids who were suffering with bad sound and distortion (might be worth seeing under better conditions) the amazing Spanish ‘Grabba Grabba Tape’ who were simply two guys dressed as neon snow beasts, a vocoder & drum kit. Very fast, short songs which I absolutely loved. Probably not the kind of shizzle I’d listen to but ace. And finally My Robot Friend. Just click the link. He literally lit up the stage like a Christmas tree and changed his light show accessories for each number. Fantastic show and great songs to boot. Some hilarious lyrics which I openly laughed at which meant I got a few odd looks. I forgot, you aren‘t supposed to laugh at art. Aaah-fuck off, I'll smile if its funny and dance if it's funky.

Finished his set by going into the crowd by filming people in the audience which were beamed onto a screen behind the stage. Most innovative and original thing I’ve seen in a while.

In other news, I've had a wanky haircut courtesy or Vidal Sassoon. Looks good from the back but I’ve been left looking like a (to paraphrase Mr Plews) Shoreditch Twat/Nathan Barley with a Dalston postcode. I’m going to let them colour it next week. Fuck it, its free and only hair. I’ve enough wigs to cover it.

Sunday it’s time to hop aboard the good ship Kashpoint. Will only be doing 1 number and the accessories I’ve planned haven’t quite gone to plan but I hope it’ll go well.

Right this net cafe stinks, I can't use Firefox so things keep fucking up and its time for tea...

Later mo fos
xXx